cardshark | IC INBOX for EMP

cardshark

You have reached Grimsley's brain, please leave a message after the beeeeeeeep

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From:

broceanic

[one day in july, when grimsley is out and about staggering (is he really going to be sober?), he'll come across a nice little sight! another sharpedo! it's floating in the water quietly after falling asleep after some training. archie's left it for a moment to go and get some food for them both-- but... grimsely doesn't know that! surely it's a wild sharpedo, rare as they are?

happy day! finally, everything is coming up grimsley!]

From:

cardshark

[He figures that they've all been pulled here, so why not some delightful Sharpedo as well? What absolute luck! He doesn't want to harm the poor thing in this place, least of all with his own Sharpedo... And it's already asleep anyway. Perfect! Grimsley walks up to the shoreline... And gently throws an underhanded Ultraball while it's sleeping.]

[That just... Seems to bounce off of it and wake the poor thing up, sending the ball rolling back towards the tree line. What the fuck?]

From:

broceanic

[sharpedo wakes up with a grunt as the ball bounces off his snout. it takes him a moment but-- red eyes narrow on grimsley. another trainer, huh...? with ultra balls. he's either rich or not the average idiot. sharpedo ducks down lightly in the water, using a gentle water gun on grimsley. spraying him gently.

archie shows up a few moments later-- foot knocking gently against the ultra ball. huh. he picks it up, tossing it up and down lightly as he tosses a whole salmon out into the water for sharpedo. just carrying it out in the open. gross.]

Here ya go, Sharpedo! I got one with roe in it, just how you like it!

From:

cardshark

[Grimsley covers his face and walks backward. Definitely a tame Sharpedo since it wasn't trying to eat him after that.]

Ah! Stop it! I'm sorry, alright?! [This is not ending well for Grimsley, who is now hosed down in his own version of a wet t-shirt contest. Except Sharpedo hasn't won titties, but just some thin man in a black speedo. He pulls Sharpedo's ball out and lets her into the water.] Sharpedo, reason with him, okay?! [As Grimsley makes a WAARGARBL noise right after that]

[Grimsley trurns, no longer being hosed, to see a fish thrown into the water as his Sharpedo goes for the food this man threw for clearly his Sharpedo. Uh Oh.]

Edited Date: 2019-07-05 07:48 pm (UTC)

From:

broceanic

[archie just kind of watches this, head cocked. wow. grimsley looks like he weighs about 90 pounds soaking wet, huh. archie's face goes through a bit of a journey. there's another sharpedo. there's another trainer. she's going for his sharpedo's fish.]

NyerrugARRGH NO! [he shouts, jumping in the way of the actual shark going for fish to shove it towards his own sharpedo.] No! You two share!

[... at least he's fine with splitting it?]

From:

cardshark

You idiot! What are you doing!? [Grimsley runs forward grabbing him by his stupid butt cape and pulling. Not that he can actually move him, nor would he be able to pull him out of the jaws of a sharpedo]

[It's too late, his hungry Sharpedo starts feasting with a fury, and doesn't notice Archie until she has some of his arm in her mouth, and that doesn't taste like salmon- UH OH]

Sharpedo! Back! [He withdraws his Sharpedo, realizing too late that he should have done that first, but holy shit.]

Oh, man! Hey, are you okay? [He really didn't need to be charged for murder again this quickly]

From:

broceanic

[that was stupid, but archie is a stupid man. he yelps a little when he feels her teeth sink into his arm-- but... it's a familiar feeling. he's lost count the amount of times he's been bitten by carvanha and evolved sharpedo. archie just huffs and pulls his buttcape off and wraps it around his arm. it's not too bad. he can tell because he can still feel his arm. looking around in the water and dispersing his little cloud of blood (to whit his own sharpedo just grumbles and goes for the rest of the salmon), archie looks over at grimsley.]

Yo, bro! [he calls out, cheerfully.] Yeah, I'm good. I'll go get fixed up later. You gotta keep your Sharpedo fed, dummy!

From:

cardshark

[Does he really look like a "bro" to you? But he'll roll with it, cuz he's used to weird men by now. He is also, by virtue, a weird man.]

As long as you're sure... [Ah, that's a little embarrassing, isn't it?]

That's why I was here, to let my Sharpedo hunt. Who could have guessed that there would be another Sharpedo here? I thought my luck had finally changed... Oh well. My name is Grimsley, by the way.

[Grimsley looks this man up and down.] Do you surf?

From:

broceanic

[archie's sharpedo ducks down in the water, grunting and bubbling a little, eyes focused on grimsley. he's probably used to sharpedo enough to know that it's just being a bit of a baby, wanting attention.]

Archie. Glad t'meet another trainer with one, honestly. He was gettin' so lonely.

From:

cardshark

[He can't help but cluck his tongue at Sharpedo. Poor lil' guy.]

Oh is that so? I'll let my girl back out then. [He casually pulls his Sharpedo's ultra ball back out and lets her out into the water.] She's still got to eat something. ... Besides your arm, that is. Are you sure you're okay?

[Ms.Sharpedo bumps her nose against Archie's Sharpedo and makes a conversational growling sound.]

I'm not sure if that's going to stop the bleeding...

From:

broceanic

I'm good, [he says, giving a thumbs up, blood running down his arm and sinking into his shirt. streaking down his trousers. it's fine. it's a lot of blood. it's fine.

sharpedo is happy to strike up a conversation with her, despite his trainer actively bleeding into the lake. sharpedo loves archie, but he also does not have any sympathy for him right now.] Maybe not. Gimme your kimono.

From:

cardshark

I am not giving you my kimono. It is silk, and I can't get another here. Not yet, at least. Use your wetsuit.

[Grimsley nervously steps around. Maybe he kimono wasn't worth more than a man's life. But it was pretty nice.]

Here, use my scarf. [It won't stain. He unwinds it from his neck and approaches.]

From:

broceanic

Your Sharpedo is female, right?

From:

cardshark

[Grimsley was enjoying himself, counting the winnings from the fighting ring. He’s almost startled when the indication of a transmission comes through. ]

Oh. Archie, hello to you, too. And yes, my Sharpedo is female. Most of my team is. Why do you ask?

From:

broceanic

[oh grims you naughty boy]

There seems to be an egg bug going around. I'd prefer ours not end up with eggs of their own.

Edited Date: 2019-08-27 03:15 pm (UTC)

From:

cardshark

You don’t like baby Pokémon? I thought you were softer than that!

So what are you proposing? Alternating custody of the lake? Leashes?

[Its obvious he’s kinda laughing, his chuckles come through the connection. ]

From:

broceanic

Not in this world.

[said with a grimace, though grims can't see it.]

Tell her to keep it in her pants! I've done the same for Sharpedo. I don't care how lonely he is!